When I was a young sprite, I'd lose myself in what my mother created and called "The School Closet". In that closet was a wonderland of not just toys and dolls, but books, puzzles, board games, musical instruments, children's magazines ("Highlights" was one of my favorites), coloring books and crossword puzzles.
I remember a day when I was about three years old (it was before I started taking formal piano lessons, so I know it had to be around that age), my mother took me to an office that looked a lot like "The School Closet", only a lot bigger. There was a very nice lady there who greeted us, and I spent the morning with her. I took some check box tests, she watched me draw, color, paint. She asked me what I liked to read, and at the time I was reading several "Little Golden Books". I remember building things for her from Lincoln Logs, American bricks, special building blocks, and then some sort of flash card session. Those are the only things I remember from that day
Many, many years later, when I was an adult, I told my mother that I had remembered that day, and asked her what it was about. She said the nice lady that day was the one she had hired to give me an IQ test. I don't remember what she said my score was, but my mother told me that she was dealing with a [right-brained] genius, and...well, she had been nervous all her life with the responsibility.
Now, I don't know about that, and I actually laughed when my mom told me. Believe me, I'm no genius; I've had plenty of stupid moments in my life...some of which I don't care to ever remember again (just because one is smart, doesn't make them wise). The thing I loved about my mom was her admittance that she was so hard on me because of that, because she knew that I would have so much more to offer the world than she ever had as a product of the Great Depression. "Do it better," she'd say. It was her hope that "every generation should do it better than the ones before."
What people are beginning to call the "Second Boston Massacre" has me stunned. It shows me that the masses on both sides do not believe in "doing it better". They consistently show that violence, bloodshed and tears are more important than peace, love and freedom. No one "loves their neighbor", much less their enemies (Matthew 5:43-48); the Christian "right" has become very wrong. By what I've seen, some of those who have been attacked are reacting as badly as those who have done the attacking. I myself have been guilty of such feelings after a tragedy as horrible as this one, and 9/11. I want to see justice done, yet at the same time, I want to understand the answers to those "why" questions. It's a bit more complicated than just doing flash card sessions and puzzles with a specialist. I sit by a radio, a computer screen, a TV screen, and wonder: "What the hell is going on in this world?" Then I go to my piano keyboard and pound out some Liszt and Chopin. It's what I do. Curse my right brain.
On a much, much smaller scale - here on Planet Earth (I do come back to visit now and then) - Amador County is again being attacked by corporate interests. The Payless IGA in Pioneer is in escrow. I lived in Pioneer for eight years; let me tell you about that little store. I'd walk through the doors, and was greeted with a smile: "Hey, Carol...forget your garlic?" "Hey, Carol...there's a special on asparagus today"..."Hey, Carol...you left your lights on..."..."Hey Carol, how about this snow?" I lived at nearly 4000 feet, above Deer Ridge...and here are these folks at the local, hometown grocery store just five minutes down the mountain, asking about how I'm doing. That is what I call community news...those who are not only willing to drop anything to help you, but let you know what's going on because they genuinely care about you, because they live up there, too. They know how it is. It's not just about reporting about it; it's about actually living it.
I do miss that simplicity, that hometown feel. I live in Sacramento now. There is a dollar store not but a mile away from me. Yes, I occasionally shop there, but...I'm in a metro area; the demographics call for such a store. Upcountry Amador County? Not so sure. Yes, there are a lot of poor folks living up there, but...give them some pride and respect! To me, it looks like a slap in the face of those who really know what living upcountry is all about. Most of them are not necessarily poor, and they are not necessarily rich. They are just trying to have a life aside and apart from all the drama that the rest of the social and political classes generate.
An attack is an attack. Boston was attacked. New York City was attacked. Oklahoma City was attacked. South Korea was attacked. I doubt anyone in Amador County noticed that a Somalian court house was attacked last Sunday (19 people dead), and then a car bomb was detonated on the road to the airport; three were killed, two of which were Turkish aid workers, http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-22143503). But back to Planet Amador: Pioneer is feeling attacked. Sutter Creek residents felt attacked (http://amadorwatchdog.org/garbage/sutter.html) What makes any attack on any community, large OR small, less important than the other? It's really is about people, and the kind of people who come together in crisis and help each other. That is what "community" is about. But will we ever know the answers to the "why" questions?
It is a very big universe we live in. I like to believe that we are evolving more and more towards the IQ of peace, love and some pretty great music, rather than the ignorance of war and hate. Sometimes I would like to go back to a simpler time...the "color by numbers"....the "connect the dots"...the flash cards, the games, the puzzles. But life isn't that simple anymore. More and more, I find myself in my own little "School Closet" again, putting together puzzles, solving the Nancy Drew mystery before I read the end of the book. What I tell myself is, "Follow the hate, the greed, the money, and the power, and you'll find the truth." At what point do I put the blinders on?
At the end of the day, I need to ask myself, what have I done? Have I encouraged or offended? Have I made wrongs right? Have I made the ignorant wise; the weak, strong...the discouraged, encouraged? Have we forgiven, or asked for forgiveness? If I have time, talents and resources to contribute to my community, isn't it about time we actually meet our community, not just come together when a crisis or tragedy hits? At the end of the day, have I "done it better", have I made a difference?
I just want to watch the sun set on the horizon, and know that my family - my man, my son, my daughter, my grand-daughter - are safe and close by. I want to know that those who don't enjoy what I am privileged to enjoy are in my thoughts and prayers. I don't have much, but I have enough to be happy. No one can take that away from me.
Amador County, don't let anyone take anything away from you. A community is made up of people who not only live in the same neighborhood, city or area, but there are those who might be sharing the same struggles, the same fears, the same kind failures or successes. There are those who might not be the sharpest tools in the shed, and there are those who are sharper than a tack. There are those who might not have a lot of money and resources, and need help, and there are those who have a lot of money and resources and want to help. All in all, my hope is that everyone, no matter where they are in their lives, just might want to "do it better", but to me, what is important is that we do it together and be strong.
Building a community up - log by Lincoln log, brick by American brick, block by Building block - especially after a tragedy, after an attack? No, there is no "dollar store" value that can be placed upon that.
Carol Harper, Editor
NewsAmador.com
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